Åh gud for en alkoholtest.

Amen, kunne godt tænke mig at være i din hjerne en gang imellem.

Alkoholtest, jeg kan ikke engang sige det der i ædru tilstand

GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe . Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain , very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece , gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain , with a glorious and all conquering past
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel , has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business. Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada , self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet .
Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran , ruled by a pair of nuts.

A Newfoundlander living in Toronto decided to visit the Scarborough zoo.
While there, he saw a man with an elephant act.
The man claimed the elephant could look at a person and tell that person's age.

The trainer had the elephant look at a small boy.
The elephant stamped its foot 9 times.

"Is that right?" he asked the boy.
"Oh yes", said the boy.

The Newfie was very skeptical and said so, in no uncertain terms.
Finally, the trainer could take it no longer, and offered to bet the Newfie that the elephant could look at him and tell him his age.
The Newfie accepted the wager.

The elephant looked very closely at the skeptic, then turned around, raised his tail and broke wind like you wouldn't believe.
Then he turned back around and stomped his foot twice.

The Newfie stumbled back, amazed, and with a sound of disbelief in his voice, cried, "Lard tunderin' b'y, GOD he's right!!!! I'm farty-two!"

Why do fish always sing off key?
You can't tuna fish